Welcome to my pity-party.

Sometimes life sucks.  I got swine flu last week, and if that wasn't enough of a slap in the face, I came home very grouchy from work on Monday to find someone had broken into our apartment and robbed us.

Some worthless peice of shit widdled their scumfucked way into my place of residence and took things which belong to me.  I'm going to give myself a little while to feel angry and violated.  You can watch this video in the meantime...



How DO you stay faithful in a room full of hoes?  Someone has to ask the tough questions...

Anyway, back to my flu/robbery.  We called the police who came over to our apartment, stared at the door knob, and wrote down about how I saw trouble-making teens a few weeks ago.  I certainly didn't get the impression the Malden Police department were going to call in some CSI shit and get back my stuff though.

I'll take a few more minutes of pity-party now... 










Well, before I start feeling too much like life just wants to get me down, let's look at the facts of my situations.

On June 11, 2009 the World Health Organization (WHO)  declared a global pandemic of H1N1 (swine) flu was underway.  Did I think I was pandemic-proof??  No one is pandemic proof.  That's the point.

According to WHO there have been 622,482 confirmed cases of H1N1 world wide.  Though regions are no longer being required to report cases therefore this is most likely a drastic under-estimation. 

I should feel blessed I didn't get bird flu... that shit REALLY kills people.  According to WHO as many as 60% of people who contract H5N1 (bird) flu have died. 

Bright side to swine flu?  I didn't have bird flu.

So anyway, some bottom-feeding-shit-wads stole things which belong to Wesley and I.  Which aparently is called "burglary" by crime statisticians since they broke into our apartment to take it.   And before I go feeling special about myself there were 306 burglaries in Malden in 2008, which is actually a drop from 2007 which saw 387. 

Anyway, we as Americans should be jumping for joy really because according to the Bureau of Justice Statistics (did you know that existed?) out of every 1,000 households 110 were burglarized in 1973 and only 26.3 were burglarized in 2008.  Do we have more pitbulls and guns?  I don't know, but that is a dramatic improvement.  These numbers can be seen here.

Bright side? While population density may be disgustingly on the rise, crimes against property in the U.S. are actually on the decline.

And now some British humor...

Political Analysis.

I was reading about Richie's feud with Malia Obama. 

I have concluded that a.) this is child abuse and b.) he resulted to fighting fire with fire, which is never a good idea.

I'm also going to go ahead and dispell any (old) myths that Michelle Obama is pregnant.  I take anything the Oprah conglomerate tells me as fact (as do 99.9% of Americans) so I think it's the best news source to present in this case.

And c.) above listed BBB blog entry is an attack on America and our freedoms.  Unpatriotic.

Why do you hate America?

Get to know me...

Like: Ponies 

Dislike: Earwigs 

Like: David Cronenberg

Dislike: M. Night Shyamalan 

Like: Holding hands

Dislike: Erotic Asphyxiation

Like: This American Life

Dislike: Rush Limbaugh

Like: Outkast

Really Like: Hayseed Dixie covering Outkast 

Like: Michael Jackson

Dislike: Haters

I'm glad we've taken this time to get to know me better.

Jousting: Fight Club for Horse Folks.

Kittens making fun of Asians.

So racist.  So young.

Documentary Film Reviews

Maxed Out:  Pretty good.  Watch it.

Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Price: Fair.  Worth a watch.

My Kid Could Paint That: A bit silly. I'd pass.

What Would Jesus Buy?: Stupid. Not really about what it should be about.  Didn't even finish it.

Private Dicks: Men Exposed:  Not very good, but Alan Abel pulled a great prank pretending to be a man of diminutive size.  Watch it.

Word Wars:  Eh.

Super High Me:  Silliness.  I only half paid attention.

The Business of Being Born:  Disturbing.  But watch it.

Lake of Fire: Fairly unbiased, yet only shows the crazy sides.  Watch it.

Strange Culture: Stilted.  Needs a lot more, but a story worth hearing.  Plus, when I was at Mass MoCA I saw the place where the art exhibit was supposed to be.  It peaked my interest.  Watch it if you have an interest in modern art.

A Certain Kind of Death:  Well made and interesting.  Watch it.

The Beautiful Truth:  I think I watched about five minutes of this before I vomited and turned it off.  Horrible.  Never watch.

Fall From Grace: Good.  About the God Hates Fags loonies.  Made me feel better learning how illegitimate they really are.  It's not like anyone is joining their cause.

Sick: The Life and Death of Bob Flanagan, Supermasochist:  This goes down in history as the only film that has ever shocked me.  I don't know if you should watch it.  If you do it's not because I said to.

The God Who Wasn't There:  Richard Dawkins is a tool.  But that's besides the point.  I watched all of 10 minutes of this poorly-made film.

Zoo:  I think my boyfriend considered leaving me after he caught me watching this.  Anyway, it sucked.


Mr. Death: Fred A. Leuchter Jr. :  This was about a man from Malden.  I didn't think a film about a man who made electric chairs for a living could be so boring.  The only think it shed light on was the fact that he really had no qualifications for this job.

Heckler: Fairly light-hearted, but very self-serving.  Don't watch.

The Bridge:  Depressing to the max.  Watch it anyway.  I also found the extras on how they made the film interesting.

This Film is Not Yet Rated:  I learned a lot watching this one.  Watch it.

Southern Comfort:  Watch it. Rewind.  Watch it again.

The Aristocrats:  Fun time. Watch it.

Devil's Playground: Amish kids go wild.  Worth a look.  Seemed really one-sided though.  Agenda= Amish kids are set-up for failure.

Cowboy del Amor: Such potential.  Falls flat.

Well that's all the reviewing I have energy for right now.  See? I slog through the crap so you don't have to. 



 

Malden Access Television: A Dream Wrapped Inside a Reality

Growing up in Medford, Massachusetts I only saw TV3.  Which is crap.  It consists of a blue screen listing off events no one cares about, or poorly made home videos of middle school events.  I believed this was just the reality of public access.

I lived in Lowell for a period of time in college, but I don't even remember the public tv there.

Then I moved to Malden.  With it's higher population density and easier access to liquor licenses Malden offers a different feeling just one town over.

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't sold right away.  Growing up in the adjacent town I believed Malden was trashy and their football team sucked (I didn't care, but we had a high school rally to the effect yearly.)

Overtime flipping through the TV stations I began to find myself stopping on MATV.  First thing that drew me in was a show called "Science Fiction Fandom".  It consists of a panel of MegaDorks discussing things such as Battlestar Galatica and Buffy the Vampire Slayer comic books like they are the Iraq War to a half-empty (half-full if you're feeling optimistic) room. Now, I have no interest in Fandom, but I found this to be such a fascinating study of human behavior I couldn't take my eyes off it.

I'd like to thank the creators of Science Fiction Fandom for helping me to discover MATV.  Since this time I have had the blessing of discovering great public TV such as After Hours with TC Restani and my latest favorite Bottoms Up with Ashley Bottoms.  Thank you.

Please enjoy a small peice of what I have access to:

Deathcore: The same in any language.

I have discovered that if you click the "Next Blog" tab (not now!) at the top that only 1 in 10 blogs are in English.  This was a bit frustrating to me, until I came upon this blog and realized that deathcore is the same in any language.  Which really points to the bigger picture that we're all the same on the inside, don't you think?

Anyway, I call this shot "Arranged Marriage"

In other news, I was reading Richie's blog and was reminded all about Da Dip.  Which lead to Dunkie Butt and at that point I was just having a dance party right in my living room.  Ain't no shame in this game. Please.

Are my comments broken?

How to make money on the internet.

There is no way to make money on the internet.  Stop googling that.

Anyway, no squints today.   I call this one "Baby Eyes Wide Open"

The Sun doesn't choose favorites.

It will blind anyone.

My Eyes Hurt

Well, maybe you shouldn't be so sensitive.