Documentary Film Review Part VI

I'm at it again.  Here's some documentaries I've watched over the past few months and my thoughts on them.

Cave of Forgotten Dreams- Bring a tissue.  No, not because this is a SAD movie, but because you're going to have to continually wipe Werner Herzog's pre-cum off your screen.  I hate Werner Herzog.  I admit, at this point the hatred has just become irrational. Why did I even TRY and watch this? What is this movie even about? I can't get his voice out of my head! AHHHH!

Emmanuel's Gift- The plight of person's with disabilities in Ghana, West Africa is heart breaking.  I'm a total sap, so I enjoyed this fairly uplifting story about a disabled man who fought hard to work with the hand he was dealt in life.  You're a sap too, just go ahead and watch it.

Alive! Is Michael Jackson Really Dead?- This isn't so much a documentary as it is a really long VLOG of a woman in front of a bookshelf. Who gave this woman a video camera? She's not even past DENIAL in the stages of grief and no one stopped her from making a movie?  She quotes the Weekly World News as a source.  I mean, c'mon, even I've moved on to depression when it comes to the death of Michael.  Sure, I can't think about it without breaking down into tears... but I'm not grasping at straws hoping it didn't happen.  (Although, what I WANT to say is... "this is a fully factual film and Michael walks among us.") I'm not even sure why I watched this.

Waiting for Superman- I am FULLY ready to riot in the streets about the state of education in this country. Continually allowing children to fail and fall through the cracks in one of the wealthiest nations in the world makes my blood boil.  We are setting up children to FAIL and giving them no other options, meanwhile we continue to spend like crazy on building more jails and allow states to debate whether or not they should teach SCIENCE in schools or fucking mumbo-jumbo.  How can we not do better than this? Watch this film.

The One Percent- Years before Occupy Jamie Johnson was talking about the one percent concept.  He is one of them, but his sense of humanity and ability to look at himself and the situation realistically does give me some hope.  This isn't a perfect documentary, but it's enjoyable and worth watching.

The Union: The Business Behind Getting High- Well made and well presented, but I didn't feel too wowed by it.  I mean, are there really that many people (and by "people" I mean people who think) that think pot should remain illegal and don't know what this film is talking about?... There probably are.  I don't want to believe Sarah Palin is real either.  Watch it if you don't know the facts.

Man On Wire- Philippe Petit doesn't seem that crazy to me, despite walking a rope between the twin towers.  If you've ever felt a burning passion or desire, or had a hobby that was dangerous but you loved, then you will find something to connect with in this film.  Philippe is not only a great high-wire walker, he is an excellent story teller.  Though I am sure there are parts of this story which could have been elaborated on, and at times I felt they reiterated facts which had already been hashed out when there was MORE they could have explored.  I would say watch it.

Live Nude Girls Unite!- Strippers unionizing.  Its a good story.  Sex workers should have rights too.  What a novel concept! (sarcasm) Worth watching, but not on my top list.


There you go!  Hope I've given you some direction on your personal quest to watch the best documentaries out there.  We're all on that quest, right?

SWAK- Single Women Also... Knead?

Happy Post-Valentines Day.  Time for a wrap up.

I arrived to work yesterday and was immediately stuffed with cookies and candies by coworkers to show their appreciation (and continued desire for) my womanly hips and nursing abilities.

I was also accosted by several heart doilies emblazoned with the letters "SWAK".  I didn't know what that meant, but it seemed likely to be a threat or a bad acronym.

I brainstormed possible meanings:

SWAK- noun.  Nun chucks disguised as heart shaped doilies. 

SWAK- adjective. Shiny, sharp and jagged.

SWAK- verb. To take down innocents using hard candies to trip them.

Sword Wielding Anthropomorphic Kangaroos

Soft Wet Acidic Kale

Sorry Wittle Asshole Kids

Sappy Works of Art, Kid

Sophisticated Works of Andy Kaufman 

What it actually means is boring Vday crap, so you can sort it out yourself.  I'm going with the Andy Kaufman explanation.

 

As single gals are apt to do on Valentines day I scheduled myself for a sleep study.  It was hilarious.

I should have brought a camera, but it wasn't on the list of things to bring, so just picture this is me:

Important points:

-Covered in wires

-A nice man tucked me in and was very concerned about my comfort

-He offered me all the pillows I wanted

-He commented several times on how nice my hair is (while struggling to put wires into this beautiful, thick, luscious mane)

-There were at least two cameras watching my every move

-The aforementioned man was sitting in another room watching me sleep

-He would occasionally come in and move shit around.  (Frankly, I think he was just bored because his job is to watch people sleep.)

At one point he came in and asked me if I was too warm (I think I was fussing with the covers).  I said "yes" and he turned down the thermostat.  

I really thought he loved me...

Until at 6:00am he woke me up and kicked me out. 

Damn.

Sleep study theme song:

Here in my car I feel safest of all.

I was thinking I'd like to put some bumper stickers on my car.

I figure that's a decision one has to MAKE at some point.  They must decide "I AM a bumper sticker TYPE."

I will be taking bumper sticker suggestions.  I'm going for ironically white trash, to give you some direction in your search.  Please tell me where to get those fake bullet holes, I will need lots of those.  Thanks.

And in this episode of "Only in New Hampshire"  I saw a man wearing all camouflage driving a camouflage painted Ford Mustang.  True story.

+

Frankly, I wouldn't have even SEEN him and his car had he not been stopped at the Shell station next to me.  It took me a few minutes to focus my eyes and convince myself he was REALLY there.

Oh, Craigslist.

Whenever I read the Missed Connections on Craigslist I always just sit there singing this song:



Don't these people remember the lessons they learned from Disney movies?

For the most part I find the Missed Connections slightly uplifting, cutesy and only a little sad.  And living in the city-ish you always eventually come across one that is to someone you know, which is a kick.

If you want to gawk and stare at strange human behavior you could coast over to Casual Encounters (... I only read it for the articles, I swear!*)

These people learned everything they've ever needed to know from 2 Live Crew:



I googled around a bit to see if anyone ever did any research on whether or not casual encounters actually results in any and it has been done:  http://www.nerve.com/love-sex/i-did-it-for-science/i-did-it-for-science-craigs-list-casual-encounters?page=2   The short answer is "no, not really."

I just can't imagine why a woman would go for that.  I know I shouldn't be so judgmental... but I REALLY wonder what the men think is going to happen when they slap up a dick pic.  Are the ladies just going to FLOCK? Do they not care because they just like tossing it out there? Do they want to feel like their prostitute hand picked them for their excellent junk?

I'm going to become an anthropologist and mostly just study Craigslist.  You know... after I get out of the jungle.

*There are no articles.